This is an interview with Barbara Sher about her Success Teams
Detta Darnell is a trained Success Team Leader and will be
starting her latest team in Feb/and throughout 2010.

"Overcoming your inner Resistance"
[Counselor’s tip: Get motivation, comfort and help from others.]

A: Barbara, why should I read your books?
Bs: Because they’ll help you figure out what you really and truly
want. And then they show you how to get it.

A: But we’re right in the middle of a financial crisis, I could lose my
job at any time, and you’re telling me that I should follow my dreams.
Are you crazy? **[NICE TALK!]
B: I’m a very practical person. I know you have to pay the rent first
before you can go after your dreams. If you’ve got a job that makes
ends meet for you, don’t give it up! You can work on your dreams
after work. But you have to understand that your dreams are important.

A: Why?
B: When you go after your dreams, you wake up in the morning excited
about your life. When you don’t, you’re unsatisfied and feel like life
is passing you by.

A: I’d love to write a novel and climb the Matterhorn, but after work
I don’t have the energy to do anything but watch TV.
B: You’re experiencing resistance. Putting things off is a form of that.
Resistance is when you really want something, but you can’t seem to
make yourself do it. Everyone goes through that.

A: Am I just too lazy?
B: No, not at all! Resistance is part of our survival package. I believe
it’s there to protect you from doing something dangerous. As soon as
you want to do something that makes you the slightest bit nervous—
like writing the first line of your novel, for example—Resistance shows
up. It’s a primitive defense mechanism, which is why it’s so strong—
but it’s hopelessly stupid. It doesn’t understand the difference between
the real danger of falling off a cliff and the perceived danger of starting
your novel. Resistance is like a big, dumb bodyguard. You can’t
outmuscle it, but you can beat it.

A: But how?
B: One way is by starting a Success Team. You meet regularly with
a group of friends who all have dreams they want to make happen.
Or you can join a team run by a certified team leader. Everyone in
the team supports everyone else at the same time. If you have an
exam, they help you study. If you do well, they open a bottle of
champagne. If you don’t do well, they help you go back to the
drawing board and buy you a beer.

A: How do ST’s run exactly?
B: You all help each member develop a strategy for meeting a goal.
The other members help you set your goal, with a plan to get there
and a definite date for reaching it. Every week your team helps you
decide what steps you should take in the coming week. At the next
meeting, your team will cheer your successes or help you overcome
any obstacles you ran into. The structure of meeting regularly and
the support from, and accountability to, your team make a huge difference.

A: But that takes a lot of energy!
B; When you do what you love, it gives you energy. Let’s say you want
to paint, so you sign up for a painting class on Wednesday evenings.
Now, you’re just as tired after work on that day as the others, but you’ve
signed up so you go. When you get to your class you’ll suddenly feel wide
awake, full of energy, even playful. But if you just stay home and lie on
the sofa, you feel like you have no energy at all. So all you have to do
is get yourself in a painting class. The rest takes care of itself.

A: Is it possible to turn my dream into a career?
B: Yes, but it takes time. At the start, almost no dream makes money.
You should think of your dream like a baby. It can’t speak, it can’t clean
the apartment, it seems totally useless. But if you love it and feed it, it
can become a wonderful person. You dream has to be allowed to grow
the same way.

A: How should one deal with critics?
B: Never tell your worst critics about your newest dreams, especially
not relatives! Once you get started with a project, critics can be
useful, but not in the beginning.

A: What happens if I fail?
B: Well, anyone who attempts a goal sometimes fails. If you don’t
make it up the Matterhorn, either you didn’t know everything that
was involved or your car broke down on the way. Both problems
can be solved, and then you can try again. Or you might say,
“No thanks. I found what I was looking for." Failure can be very
instructional. It’s often a helpful step on the way to a goal.

[Under my photo is says: The American author and career counselor
Barbara Sher advocates joining a Success Team.]

Bio:
Barbara Sher (74) is a career counselor and author. She became
well-known in the late 70’s with her first book, Wishcraft and has
been translated into more than a dozen languages. Her later books
have the NYT bestseller list. She got her BA in Anthropology, but
has never worked in that field. She got her experience as a social
worker and group therapist. Barbara Sher is convinced that the key
to success lies within the Success Team. The author lives in New York
and the south of France. Although she has long since reached retirement
age, she still gives courses and lectures around the world. In Germany
around 50 Life Coaches have been certified to use her Success Team method.

*”Wishcraft – Discovering and achieving life dreams and business goals,”
Edition Schwartzer, 209 pages. 18 Euro. www.sher-erfolgsteams.de